Happy Thursday y'all.
The UK is nearing the end of its seventh week of lockdown and in the words of Lesie Jordan, "Well Shit."
Last week I spoke about the struggles I faced being alone in lockdown, and now I have realised that lockdown has revealed some truths sis.
I am slowly losing my mind, and what was left of my dignity. Being confined to my apartment I have let my freak flag fly honey. I'm fairly sure that if I do another full concert of High School Musical songs my house plants are gonna stage a mutiny.
I never thought of myself as someone who feared missing out on things. Oh how I was wrong, and it took a lockdown for me to see that. Girl, I WILL BE DAMNED if I miss a FaceTime call, especially Zoom Happy Hour.
Remember when I said I found making a banana bread an exercise in self restraint? Well results are in... Fail. Sis let me tell you I devoured that thing in one sitting. Did I regret after? Yes. Would I do it again? In a heartbeat. Turns out, I'm not so big on the self restraint.
I don't need to go 100 miles an hour all the time. Lockdown has slowed life down and it's taken some adjusting to get used to. Working in hospitality lends itself to a faced paced lifestyle, and this has been a lesson in putting the brakes on and slowing down. Taking the time on those once a day walks to admire the beauty of Edinburgh has led me to love this city even more.
What the hell was I spending my money on before lockdown? You know when people say that their hobbies must have been non-essential? Well ain't that the truth. Turns out I spent my money on all things non-essential and ubers honey.
My attention span is minimal at best. I would like to put this down to the bizarre situation we are in just now but I suspect this has been the case for a while.
Looking back, all those days after High School spent on MSN speaking to the friends you had just seen, *did* prepare me to have my closest relationships exist solely online in 2020.
Watching all the couples be happy etc on Instagram stories or in TikToks videos is more triggering to me that watching the 2011 John Lewis christmas advert.
You know the one where the small boy can't wait for Christmas day just so he can give his present to his parents.
I have realised that I can, and will, finish 2 or more bottles of wine a night. But hell, we knew that one already.
I have realised that I am someone who likes to be in control. I like to be able to make decisions for myself. Hell who doesn't? So let me tell ya, its hard to let go and have what you can do decided for you, but I am getting there. Things happen that are out of our control and it is up to us to make the best of the situation.
What have you learned about yourself in lockdown? Let me know in the comments - KD